* Get me out of here ! *

A son was placing his father into a nursing home.
"Please don't put me in there, son !" cried the old man.
The son said, "Pop, I can't take care of you & work too. I've checked the place out & it is the best one there is. I think you'll love it".
The next day the father called his son & said, "Son, you were right ! I LOVE this place, it is so great here. Thank you so much for making the decision !"
"That's swell, dad", said the son. "What makes it so great ?"
"Well", replied the dad. "Last night I was in my room & from out of nowhere, I got an erection. A nurse came in, saw me & gave me a blowjob ! I haven't had one of those in 30 or 40 years ! I'd almost forgotten what it was like ! It was fantastic !"
"That's great, dad", said the son.
A few days later the father called his son again & said "You have to get me out of here! I hate this place ! I can't live here any more !"
"What's wrong, pop ?" asked the son.
"Last night I fell down in the hallway. I was getting up and when I was on my hands & knees, a male nurse came along & sodomized me ! I CANNOT and WILL NOT live like this !"
The son said, "Dad, I know that's terrible and we'll get it straightened out, but until then, you have to understand, we have to take the good with the bad. Just hang in there".
"No, son" said the dad. "You don't understand! I get an erection maybe once a year ! I fall down two or three times a day !"